Anonymous, Wisconsin

A few years ago, I was homeless. The only money I had coming in was SSI. I wasn't on disability yet - but I couldn't work. I couldn't walk, I didn't have a car. I could barely advocate for myself. 

Once it became obvious that I was not being paid a living wage and finding housing was COMPLETELY impossible, I became suicidal. The shelter I was at had an end date for everyone that came in, but didn't know what to do with me, because everyone else had a functioning body, sound mind, transportation, a support system, jobs, etc. I fell through the cracks, staying there 3 months longer than the shelter wanted. The section 8 listing I applied for was a 2-4 YEAR wait - I'm still waiting actually! 

I went to live with some people but it was only for two months and I was right back where I started, but the shelter wouldn't take me back because "other people needed that bed." Thanks to the abysmal ~$800/mo (I was in WI that pays I think $63 or so on top of SSI's $771), I almost died. There was nowhere for me to live, and in a WI winter, being on the street was suicide. 

SSI is not a living wage and being unable to accrue funds past $2000 (once I got on disability, which also went through in this time) meant I could not pay for the 3 months' rent upfront for an apartment - anywhere. The system guarantees genocide and homelessness. I still live in fear that I'll be back in that hopeless situation again, because there was nothing I could have done. 

This country makes it no secret that it would rather people like us die off in its sick eugenics game. Individualism is a disease, a mindset that holds no water and further seeks to oppress us and keep us, ironically, from attaining individuality through housing.  Currently, I'm back with my parents, who I had left because they were abusive. The public aid system doesn't remotely prioritize safety, it doesn't care. Being forced to live with abusers as a last resort also slowly kills due to the high level of stress that accrues in the body and causes strain on the heart. ...I hate this country, but what can I do?